I am a pessimist always have been. I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was young due to father abuser. He hurt my mother and brother too, so I never really had a childhood despite my amazing mother and everything she did for me. So being predisposed to the harsh realities of the world at a young age made me not just a 'half glass empty', but a 'who the hell took my other half' type of person. It already affects my writing not but stopping me from writing but stopping me from sharing my work. I write poetry or short stories and they always end up getting erased, by me, before anyone can see them.
Today, while waiting in the car for my family to return something in the store, I wrote a poem. A sad one, because well most poetry I write always have down emotion. I just do not seem to be able to write in a happier tone.
So before I erase it for no one to read I am going to post it.. Hopefully I will get some positive feedback. Keep in mind that there is absolutely no structure to the following poem, just random thoughts flowing through my mind to paper.
"There's a burning black hole in the pit of my stomach
The burning emptiness has found a way through my chest encasing my heart in agonizing pain
There is no stopping it's endless path through me
With every breath I take a crippling fire reaches up from my stomach to squash any gasp for help.
My head has succumbed to the black pain, glazing over all senses with emptiness...
- No vision to see beauty in the world
- No sound to hear the love in the world
- No smell to remember life in the world
- No touch to find family in the world